I start my days at 5:45 am (plus one snooze, so....5:55 or so). I don't really need to get up quite this early, but I like to not rush in the morning. I'm usually ready to walk out the door by 6:40 or so, but this way I get to check my email, eat breakfast a bit more leisurely, and make sure I have everything I need for the day. I'm out the door by 7:08, allowing myself 20 minutes to walk to the train station. It only takes about 13 or 14, but I'm an early person. I get to campus at 7:40, drop off my lunch at my building, and am set to go at the library before 8. That's how it happened today. And I behaved myself, studied all day with one break for lunch, and then caught the 4:11 train home. That's a little early, I know, but I like it when the trains are less crowded, and this way I get home at about 4:45. If I am behaving myself I continue working.
So far I have not been behaving myself. I find that my Google Reader is overflowing with things to read, I'm all hot and gross from walking about a mile from the train station at a pretty steep incline with a heavy bag, and I'm tired. And my brain is tired. And I'm hungry, and the kitties need some attention.
But this is how everyone feels at the end of their day, right? I am not unique in this. I am not having a harder time than anyone else. I have chosen this schedule and to walk to the train station instead of drive, and I could delete some of those feeds on my reader. I'm a big believer that we choose our circumstances. I used to whine about how stressful school is and how much time it takes up, but I've made myself stop that as of late. It doesn't make any sense to complain about it. Nobody wants to hear how I spent 7 hours in the library today or that I get students emailing me the most ridiculous questions at all hours of the night. I chose where I am, I chose to be in grad school, and ultimately I love it. Even when I come home tired. Even when I'd love to sleep in a bit more. That isn't what's happening in my life because I did not choose those things.
So, even though I'm tired, waiting for Nick to get home (he's working more hours lately) and wanting to eat dinner, I'm going to buckle down and get some more work done now. That is the best way to keep my stress levels down and I'm going to enjoy it because I love to learn. I need to keep telling myself that so it doesn't seem like drudgery. I might feel exhausted, but I wouldn't be doing anything else given the choice.
I really like this post. It's true...I often find myself getting into the habit of moaning about work, but then have to remind myself what a privilege it is to have the job that I do (or even to have a job at all for that matter).
ReplyDeleteHope that you manage to settle better into the routine soon!